They make you feel funny and valued

The Moral Bucket List
David Brooks
April 11, 2015

About once a month I run across a person who radiates an inner light… They seem deeply good. They listen well. They make you feel funny and valued.



David Brooks on the Road to Character

David Brooks on the Road to Character
Royal Geographical Society on 26th May 2015.

His book ‘The Social Animal’, a study of the unconscious mind and the triggers that drive human behaviour … David Cameron instructed all the members of his Cabinet to read it.

his latest book, ‘The Road to Character’. Brooks argued that today’s ‘Big Me’ culture is making us increasingly self-preoccupied: we live in a world where we’re taught to be assertive, to master skills, to broadcast our brand, to get likes, to get followers. But amidst all the noise of self-promotion, Brooks claimed that we’ve lost sight of an important and counterintuitive truth: that in order to fulfil ourselves we need to learn how to forget ourselves.

To make his case, Brooks distinguished two sorts of virtues: resumé virtues and eulogy virtues. Resumé virtues are the skills you bring to the marketplace: wealth, fame, status and a great career. Eulogy virtues are the things people will say about you at your funeral: that you were honest, loving, and steadfast. Most of us would say that eulogy virtues are more important, but it’s the resumé virtues we tend to think about the most.

By interweaving politics, spirituality and psychology, and citing examples from some of history’s greatest thinkers and leaders – St. Augustine, Dwight Eisenhower and Samuel Johnson – Brooks showed that by cultivating the eulogy virtues we can create depth of character and restore balance to our lives.

<20:55 Suffering gives you empathy

49:20 they had looked at the horrors of WWII and they just wanted to turn the page

1:11:07 What’s the event that made you who you are today?
No-one ever said “Well, I took this amazing vacation in Orlando”
They usually mention a period of struggle.
Then, we shoot for happiness but we are formed by suffering and struggle.

Should you live for your résumé … or your eulogy?

David Brooks: Should you live for your résumé … or your eulogy?
March 2014 at TED2014

Within each of us are two selves, suggests David Brooks in this meditative short talk: the self who craves success, who builds a résumé, and the self who seeks connection, community, love — the values that make for a great eulogy. (Joseph Soloveitchik has called these selves “Adam I” and “Adam II.”) Brooks asks: Can we balance these two selves?

risk leads to reward

April 2015

The Deepest Self
David Brooks MARCH 13, 2014

and they go on living in you and through you