Sam Horn

Intrigue – How to Create Interest and Connect with Anyone: Sam Horn at TEDxBethesdaWomen
Jan 3, 2014

When asked the secret to life, E. M. Forster said two words, “Only connect.”

https://www.intrigueagency.com

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The audience actually wants to work for their meal

The Clues To A Great Story
Andrew Stanton
TED2012
https://www.ted.com/talks/andrew_stanton_the_clues_to_a_great_story

“But, do they call me McGregor the Builder? No!”
Storytelling is joke telling

Make me care

6:35 The audience actually wants to work for their meal. They just don’t wanna know that they’re doing that!

9:00
You’re born with a temperament, and you’re wired a certain way. And you don’t have any say about it. And there’s no changing it. All you can do is learn to recognize it, and own it. …
A major threshold is passed when you mature enough to acknowledge what drives you and to take the wheel and steer it.

… and you’re still learning who you are

10:00
British playwright William Archer:
“Drama is anticipation mingled with uncertainty.”
When you’re telling a story, have you constructed anticipation?

15:00
“Who are you?”
Everything Lawrence did was an attempt for him to figure out where his place was in the world

16:33
the secret sauce is: Can you invoke wonder?

https://blog.ted.com/how-to-tell-a-great-story-visualized

Our curiosity is cultivated rather than innate

Contriving Characters From Celebrity Culture For ‘Lizzie Pepper’
July 18, 2015
http://www.npr.org/2015/07/18/424079286/contriving-characters-from-celebrity-culture-for-lizzie-pepper

Why are the lives of celebrities so fascinating to millions of people? I mean, people living on the margin of life can be fascinated by the Kardashians.

LIFTIN: I think there are two answers to that question. The first is why write or why cover these elite people and their story. And the answer to that is that I wanted to show them as regular people. They are regular people to whom this happened. You know, Lizzie Pepper wants to feel like a regular person. And inside, she’s always been a regular person. And when we read this book, it’s ultimately not a book about celebrities. It’s a book about marriage and what can come between two people. The second part of the question is why are we so fascinated with celebrity lives. Why do the Kardashians matter? And one of the answers that I’ve come up with is that maybe we just like stories, and these are the people that some good storytellers have chosen to put in front of us. So literally, you shoot a TV show with anyone, give it good lighting, egg people on, get some drama out of them, give them a few drinks, and then put their pictures in every stage of undress in tabloids. And our curiosity is cultivated rather than innate.

The conflicting needs of security and surprise

Are We Asking Too Much Of Our Spouses?
April 25, 2014
http://www.npr.org/2014/04/25/301825600/are-we-asking-too-much-of-our-spouses

Psychotherapist Esther Perel argues that a good and committed relationship draws on the conflicting needs of security and surprise.

Can desire be sustained in the long haul?

Can we want what we already have?

Happiness: we made it first a possibility and today it’s a mandate

Adventure. Novelty. Mystery. Risk. Danger. The Unknown. The Unexpected. Surprise.

Reconciling our need for security and our need for adventure in one relationship, used to be a contradiction in terms.

6:47 So we come to one person and we are asking them to give us what once an entire village used to provide.

Give me belonging. Give me identity.
Give me continuity, but give me transcendance, and mistery, and all in one.
Give me comfort, give me edge.
Give me novelty, give me familiarity.
Give me predictability. Give me surprise.

This dilemma, between our need for security and our need for adventure, how we’re trying to bring them together under one roof, is maybe more a paradox that we can manage and less a problem we can solve.

related:
http://www.npr.org/books/titles/146866856/mating-in-captivity-unlocking-erotic-intelligence