Andrew Solomon: Depression, the secret we share
TED. Oct 2013
There is no such thing as love without the anticipation of loss. And that specter of dispair can be the engine of intimacy.
There are 3 things people tend to confuse:
What causes some people to be more resilient than other people?
You don’t think in depression that you’ve put on a grey veil and are seeing the world through the haze of a bad mood. You think that the veil has been taken away, the veil of happiness. And that now you are seeing it truly.
As I unwrapped the picture, I began to cry. And my mother came over and said “Are you crying because of the relatives you never knew? And I said, “She had the same disease I have.” I’m crying now … It’s not that I’m so sad, but I get overwhelmed …
21:27 That’s all I need now.
People come over to me and say “I think, though, if I just stick it out for another year, I think I can just get through this.” And I always say to them, “You may get through it, but you’ll never be 37 again.”
It’s a strange poverty of the English language, and indeed of many other languages, that we use the same word, depression, to describe how a kid feels when it rains on his birthday, and to describe hwo somebody feels the minute before they commit suicide.
What is the mechanism of resilience?
tolerate the fact that …
I have learned in my own depression how big an emotion can be, how it can be more real than facts, …