“Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone;
it has to be made, like bread;
remade all the time, made new.”
Coursera. March 2016
The University of North Carolina at Chapell Hill
To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This
JAN. 9, 2015
More than 20 years ago, the psychologist Arthur Aron succeeded in making two strangers fall in love in his laboratory. Last summer, I applied his technique in my own life, which is how I found myself standing on a bridge at midnight, staring into a man’s eyes for exactly four minutes.
Let me explain. Earlier in the evening, that man had said: “I suspect, given a few commonalities, you could fall in love with anyone. If so, how do you choose someone?”
He was a university acquaintance I occasionally ran into at the climbing gym and had thought, “What if?” I had gotten a glimpse into his days on Instagram. But this was the first time we had hung out one-on-one.
“Actually, psychologists have tried making people fall in love,” I said, remembering Dr. Aron’s study. “It’s fascinating. I’ve always wanted to try it.” …
The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness: A Procedure and Some Preliminary Findings
Pers Soc Psychol Bull April 1997 vol. 23 no. 4 363-377
A practical methodology is presented for creating closeness in an experimental context.
Whether or not an individual is in a relationship, particular pairings of individuals in the relationship, and circumstances of relationship development become manipulated variables. Over a 45-min period subject pairs carry out self-disclosure and relationship-building tasks that gradually escalate in intensity.
Ian McLagan’s Song For A Muse
June 20, 2014
Rocker Ian McLagan has been singing and playing keyboards for almost half a century. He’s played with Rod Stewart, Bob Dylan, The Rolling Stones and The Faces. In 2012 he was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. But it hasn’t always been an easy road.
“Well there, was a time when I gave up music,” McLagan says. “But actually what I had given up was drugs and the people I was playing with. They weren’t making me happy.”
McLagan credits his late wife Kim, whom he married in 1978 and was with until her death in 2006, with helping him find his way back to music. His latest album, United States, includes a tribute to her called “Love Letter.”
“I have all the love letters I sent her on the road that I had completely forgotten about — just postcards from different places around the world. She kept them all,” McLagan says.