To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This

To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This
JAN. 9, 2015
By
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html

More than 20 years ago, the psychologist Arthur Aron succeeded in making two strangers fall in love in his laboratory. Last summer, I applied his technique in my own life, which is how I found myself standing on a bridge at midnight, staring into a man’s eyes for exactly four minutes.

Let me explain. Earlier in the evening, that man had said: “I suspect, given a few commonalities, you could fall in love with anyone. If so, how do you choose someone?”

He was a university acquaintance I occasionally ran into at the climbing gym and had thought, “What if?” I had gotten a glimpse into his days on Instagram. But this was the first time we had hung out one-on-one.

“Actually, psychologists have tried making people fall in love,” I said, remembering Dr. Aron’s study. “It’s fascinating. I’ve always wanted to try it.” …

related:
http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/2011-11/08/how-to-find-love-in-45-mins

The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness: A Procedure and Some Preliminary Findings
Pers Soc Psychol Bull April 1997   vol. 23  no. 4  363-377
http://psp.sagepub.com/content/23/4/363.short
Arthur Aron
A practical methodology is presented for creating closeness in an experimental context.
Whether or not an individual is in a relationship, particular pairings of individuals in the relationship, and circumstances of relationship development become manipulated variables. Over a 45-min period subject pairs carry out self-disclosure and relationship-building tasks that gradually escalate in intensity.

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